What follows is my reaction to a post by David Kusek entitled Searching for Salvation on the subject of the future of recorded music, and the problems the music industry faces today. He’s running a contest for new business models..   I wrote this in the comment section of his blog, and realized I should probably post it on my blog to.. cause I have this crazy habit of writing comments like this.

I don’t know entirely if I agree that recorded music is dead.. I think what’s dead is the old business models. I also think there’s a lot gong on in the evolution of the kind of technological ecology.. of like.. how people find new music, filters, financing, and whatever.. that needs to happen.. and once it does, the picture will shift a bit more.

Howz abouts another crazed entry? Sure, why not? I hear this first paragraph is very important.. you gotz to makez it keyword rich.. but is that how you wantz to start off your blog entry? With some keyword rich action? What is this, a newspaper; where we gotta give you an overview of whatever it is I’m going to post about in the first paragraph.. and then kinda go into it a little here, a little there.. circling around.. till I’m finally allowed to deep dive? Is that how we are to do it? How it’s supposed to work? Well I mean.. whatz ifz I’z wants to do something else.. I mean.. half the time I start a post and I don’t know what the hell it is I’m going to write about it.. till I getz to it. So who knows whatz the hellz this one’s going to be about? More social media bitching perhaps?

I don’t know.. I’m in a weird mood thinking about everything… See I’ve been sick in bed for a freaking week.. and it sucks.. cause I walk around wondering what the hell happened to my momentum.. plus my life is at this weird point where we kinda don’t know what’s up.. with various things.. and.. its like the cliff hanger sustains.. so we can’t quite acclimate to to whatever the actuality turns out to be.. and we got a lot of this kinda thing to start working out.

But then I fell into this odd way of thinking… that basically.. its kinda all in my mind anyway.. or I mean.. a certain amount of it is. Or.. see it’s like.. what’s there to be anxious about, really? I’m not saying there’s not a lot.. or that there’s not a lot on my plate, and life isn’t overwhelming in reality.. and that I’m still feeling like I’m failing to live up to it all.. I’m not debating that part of it.. more the big picture anxiety over living through this and getting to some better reality.. All the feeling of..  like that will never happen… and the wondering how much of my life’s efforts might be in vane, or any of that. 

So here’s a little tip from you’re uncle Matt.. when you’re in that there valley of darkness.. this is not the time to assess such things! In the dark.. so much is in shadow.. and.. what you see in the shadow.. in all the question marks… tends to be just a projection of your mood.. and if your mood is dark.. well.. there you go. And with this comes the question of.. just what is momentum..

A couple latter:

Seems like I’m circling around a thought worthy of examination..  which is like.. about the baggage we cary with us through our life.. its effects on pathology, and the unfolding of our lives.. This feeling like.. if we could just break through it.. but somehow breaking through seems.. beyond what we are capable of.. and you wonder if you’re like some elephant that was taught he was caged.. by a giant chain around his leg.. and now it’s just a string.. but we still feel the cage.

I have found.. I absolutely can walk outside my own cage. I have.. in various ways.. and yet it is still there.. and yet, is it?

One of the things I was thinking about.. oh a month or back or so.. was the importance of interacting with lots of people.. for the sake of my sanity.. And in social media.. I discovered this by going to a bunch of tweet ups.. I have lots of social media friends.. friends I enjoy hanging out with.. having a beer with.. etc.. But now it’s looking like I might not be able to make so many tweet ups.. meet ups.. or whatever. 

The thing about hanging out with lots of different groups of people.. having lots of different types of friends is.. the way we kind of define our selves socially.. that is how our identity in part comes from this social interaction.. and Well this might sound like crazy talk.. it’s part of a theory I developed under the influence of psychedelics.. that as a part of social cohesion.. there is a kind of center point that happens when you interact with one or more person.. that.. in a certain way.. could be thought of as a kind of modified version of Freud’s super ego.. whatever it is that brings us together.. or whatever it is that we have in the way of shared values.. because like our value system.. and the basis of social hierarchy.. sorta.. 

For men, of course, pecking order is very important.. and the vibe you have about your place in the universe.. and all this.. Now.. the deal about the value of lots of people.. means you have lots of little places where different things are valued.. different parts of your being..  So.. your view of your self.. if not super good.. could have something to do with the folks you are hanging out with.. the world  you’re in…

This is not to cast aspersions to the folks I regularly hang with.. but that my regular experience is not… ideal in terms of my whole self.. that its unbalanced.. 

So in this sense.. the cage within.. and is it really a cage at all.. how much of this feeling is a part of a sense of identity.. based on the world I’m experiencing myself through? Is what I’m asking…

We are a complex web of interrelated wills..  a will echo system if you will.. that has some sorta interrelationship with our needs as human beings.. and how well or poorly these things are being met. To attack the problem in a kinda Maslow hierarchy sorta way.. it can be hard to reach higher stages of spiritual enlightenment when there’s some question of if you’ll even be able to eat tonight.. But I think there’s lots of hierarchy’s in us.. not just Maslow’s.. surrounding all sorts of things.. so that there are certain things we can’t achieve until this other set of things is taken care of.. and this is the sorta thing that can create creative blocks.. or just whatever.. and sometimes you just have to kinda put you’re ear to the unconscious to find your way to the next place you need to be at.

So in this way it’s all quite hard to tell what’s really up inwardly.. what’s creating the cage phenomenon of the mind sorta feeling.. 

A couple latter:

I think I mentioned somewhere.. this association I’m having between sickness and and neurosis.. neurosis being a substitution.. substituting illegitimate suffering for legitimate suffering.. not that being sick isn’t a legitimate thing.. but.. it’s at least neurosis like in that you aren’t doing anything about whatever the thing is.. that you should be doing something about.. and the like between excuse and reason can be fuzzy.. 

Speaking of which.. I’d finish this thought.. but I have things to attend to.  

I guess I’ve been posting some crazy ass posts while sick, ha? It’s good to post! I encountered this bit of inspiration over at Pluperfecter.. this interview of Steven aka Vaspers the Grate from some 5 years ago.. On the subject of what a blog is.. Steven quoted Doc Searls… a blog post being like an email to the world.. and this thought just sorta inspired me.. should I blog like that? Should I blog as if this were a personal email to the world? Me to you? And you over there as well? 

You know.. I can dig that kinda idea.. like.. I don’t know.. so often there’s all this “how to blog” crap.. smart crap though it can be.. it’s the game of it.. everything from your SEO / SEM / Copywriting, key working, whatever ing..  top 10 lists.. and God knows what else. I mean sure.. it can all be good.. but um.. I don’t know.. I never feel totally comfortable with it.. just as I’ve never felt totally comfortable with best practices.. I’m not trying to refute there utility.. and it’s not that I want to sabotage my own plight.. It’s just that sometimes it feels like just a lot of rubbish to get in the way… You know?

I don’t know.. I feel as if.. on some level.. if I blog there should be some sorta strategery about it.. or some purpose.. some excuse to poor energy into it.. I wonder if I’m adding any value to the world or to anything.. Why am I doing this again? If strategical.. shit, my spell checker didn’t underline that word.. is that a real wold?.. err.. strategical tactical al-tick-al whatever..  el.. Salvador of dolly.. parton.. pardons.. I don’t fucking know.. but just the.. 

Ok.. so there’s an ecosystem that works a certain way.. which causes somethings to rise, somethings to fall.. blah blah blah.. and the el strategic-o tacktic-o is in part born out of a close observation of how all this works and “How you to can be a social media rock star” or at least.. well.. whatever.. and I think all this is important.. and if you have a goal.. and that goal is your success metric.. well.. you ought to adopt all that…

But then I think.. and I think real deeply.. so deeply.. it-id scare your mofo ass.. you know.. like “what’s this life for” deep? Well screw that line of questioning as that make you walk around like a head without a body.. lol, which is to say not walk all that well at all. . No what I’m thinking more is like.. look inward.. Who is you, what is you about? Like really on the super deep levels. Deep enough that you eventually get to darkness and must confess incomplete knowledge on the subject.. and here, if nothing else.. aren’t you supposed to be the supreme grand-poo-bah expert on the subject of who and what you is? And you don’t fucking know? If  you hit rock star big.. good luck to you’re F’n biographers right? 

Yeah, I’d bitch at those vicarious-ism addicts to… which would bring me to this crazy existential question I’ve been pondering lately.. but.. we’ll skip that for now..

I’m thinking about mind mapping the subject.. kinda mandala esk action for yeah.. like what’s all the crap on your mind.. not just consciously.. what are the things you are after.. what’s up with these obsessions of yours.. looking at all the aims you gotz in your life.. map that shit out.. see the cross relationships.. 

So like each thing you do is like a piece of puzzle of a bigger you… a Nietzschean super man quest.. err.. well maybe you’re not that bad ass but.. to one extent or another we are always in a process of waking up to our selves.. and we have.. lets say it is a part of the soul.. a kind of destiny.. that we are always driving towards.. with all our pathology stuff.. conscious or not.. this is what all our impulses are doing.. even if we are tangled in knots and.. our lives a mess.. and whatever else..

So if  you view a blog inside of these terms.. if it, in the biggest of all pictures, is about your becoming.. then it’s success has to do with your becoming’s success.. and that is an utterly different thing from all SEO / SEM, top 10 lists of whatever strategical tactical al-ical of the smart sort… or that is just a part of this larger thing..

A few latter:

Well I gotta work out what I’m going to do with this whole blogging thing.. or it’s on the to do list of stuff to work out.. but I like this idea of the personal email to the world.. and I like the idea of being an anarchist in the writing..  

I was just in a conversation with a friend about what sorta computer she should buy.. or more to the point.. should she get this particular computer.. and.. well she didn’t have a lot of money and.. we couldn’t actually see what the price was.. but this triggered me to thinking about net books.. which I know is pretty well trotted ground in the blogosphere.. but I figure, what the hell.

The first thing you must know about me is that “I’m a Mac.” I’ve always been a Mac.. ever since there were Macs.. sure, I’ve owned 1 PC, played with Amega’s.. etc, but.. I’m a Mac.

The Trouble with Macs 

The trouble with Macs, or Apple, as I contemplate it now, is that they don’t make a netbook.. Well they make the Mac Air.. which is there idea of an ultra portable laptop computer.. The Mac Air is great except for 3 problems.. #1 Expensive.. like starting at $1500.. #2 Weak.. I think it barely has 2 GHz.. and #3 lacks a CD / DVD drive..

See, the thing of the matter is.. if I’m going to get a netbook type computer..  besides being tiny and ultra portable.. I expect it to be a secondary computer.. a kind of computer I can  take and use anywhere without really thinking too much about it.. For it to be this tiny it must have a tiny screen which makes it totally not capable of doing most of what I do on a computer.. thus.. I’m unwilling to spend a lot of money on it.. especially when you consider that it doesn’t have much in the way of power.. Thus.. $500 might be more then I really want to spend!

Not having a CD / DVD drive is not a deal killer.. but I do want a laptop that I can at least watch movies on… but that doesn’t have to be the netbook.

So the issue is, at least right now, if I want such a computer.. it’s not going to run the Apple operating system unless I hack it to run the Apple OS.. which is maybe something I should look at because.. well.. there is the question of what I would, in practice, want to do on a netbook.

Net Book Ideals 

To me the Net Book ideal is as follows: You have this computer that’s so small you can take it anywhere without thinking about it.. has great battery life.. one way or another you’re connected to the internet..In this kind of scenario.. I might like to have the ability to take images off my camera.. or a video camera.. and perhaps even edit them.. adjust them a bit, and quickly post to the internet. I want to check emails, write blog posts, maybe edit a podcast or do simple audio things… 

So one super basic reason I’d prefer to run the Apple OS is because then I can run the software I already own that does that stuff..  I don’t have to buy, or learn how to use new stuff.See, one of the issues I’m confronting is..

I do need “a better computer” then my current Mac Book. Well.. I really need firewire so I can have a decent audio interface for live shows… and currently.. it looks like I might need the 17″ Mac Book Pro for its expansion slot.. and a 17″ Mac Book Pro is not terribly portable.. but.. I can do live shows with what I have now, so I’m in no rush.. 

Do you see a Tablet in my Future? 

All of this said, there is the Rumor of an Apple tablet… which might very well meet my netbook needs.. accept.. well.. its just a rumor.. The rumor is that it’s like to have something like a 13″ screen, if that.. will run the iPhone version of the OS.. all touch screen.. This would mean I couldn’t run my current apps.. but if you look at the iPhone App Store.. I think some of these needs would be met pretty easily.. though who knows about the video thing! 

I’ve been meaning.. gosh, for ages and ages, to share content and stuff that I’m digging.. But really, in many cases, it’s more personal then all this, cause we are talking about social media.. and so it is a social kinda thing.. it’s people whom I dig.. Probably most of my friends these days.. are social media folks.. folks who actually produce content of one form or another.. 

So how about some highlights?

My personal favorite blog has probably gotta be Catskill Cottage Seed ( ccseed on twitter ) from Richard Reeve.

I discovered it via a strange series of serendipitous events.. starting with a Berkman Blogger meet up where Joe Cascio shared his architectural ideas for a distributed twitter like micro blogging platform, (which has since morphed into an email program that Google Waves reminds one of) where Laura Fitton suggested that I should really follow @bikerbar… which somehow lead to following a lot of.. I guess you could call them “the mystics of twitter..” Lots of interesting crazy debates there.. and someone retweeted a quote from Carl Jung that I hadn’t heard before.. which is rather rare for me… and of course it was Richard.. so I immediately had to go and read his blog.

I left a crazy comment.. which seems to be my way.. and oddly Richard emailed me back.. seemed to really like my comment.. insisting that he doesn’t usually email commenters that way.. and, well, he’s been tolerating my crazy comments ever since.

Err, I hope I get this right.. as I listened to someone interviewing Richard many moons ago.. But… essentially he moved out to the Catskills… err, sometime ago.. in a slightly farmer-ish way.. growing food on his land that he integrates into meals as much as he can.. and looks into selling some of it at market.. in addition to other things.. and of course is studying to be a Jungian Analyst..

He’s only been on planet social media for.. I want to say a bit over a year? …And I think he’s doing an amazing job of it.. 

What you get on his blog are regular meditations on various Jungian concepts as they apply to daily life.. among other things.. and sometimes the post it’s self will strike you as a metaphor for something else.. kinda mediations on life…

Err, How about a music video to get us in the mood

How to Live.. and Jung Fun 

So in some respects.. you could see Richard’s blog as a response to Audio Slave.. which seems to be whaling the howl of our modern plight.. The spiritual challenges of our times.. and of course the analyst is a kind of substitute for a priest…

You know I dig Jungian psychology above all others cause it tends to grapple with these deeper things.. I imagine the modern psychologist ought to be a pragmatist.. taking what he or she can from all the schools of psychology.. applying where needed.. but mostly, modern psychology as I have encountered it on a personal level.. seems to suffer all too much from the sorta power relationship issues that Foucault wrestled with in, say.. Madness and Civilization..   

This point is that underlying the world of medicine is the prejudices of modernity’s value system.. how society is organized today has much to do with what defines a thing as a disorder.. The disorder has something to do with, perhaps we could say, challenges to adapting to the modern world.. never mind that it could be the modern world that is the problem.

Or at least that was the basic argument I gave the last time a therapist wanted to put me on medication! “What, and undermine my psyche’s natural attempt to heal me? Not on your life!” Those psycho wounds, after all, are wombs from which to be born again.. 

Out side of the subject of psychology, Richard is also big on social media.. which, as you no doubt know, is the latest sensation to sweep the nation. I LOVE social media, and what I think it means for the future of civilization.. but much of the conversations surrounding it are very business application centric.. and business conceptualized.. again, from the a certain modern view point which.. has those kinds of prejudices.. like unconscious metaphysical presumptions underlying all thought. In both medicine and business the problem is not the modern, but the modern subverting that which is becoming.. the tomorrow… 

And so we have a certain amount of system gaming going on.. or shall we call it Strategy? Tactics? Many of these things are filed under the heading of “best practices” for “social media practitioners.” The trouble is, from my point of view at least, that this often means a certain subversion of content.. and of becoming. We are not trying to be total people, merely successful people… and our metrics for what constitutes success… is.. not really what is really needed.

All of  this is somewhat inside social media baseball.. the point being that Richard’s take on all this.. is such  that in his values you don’t get these kinds of subversions.. That there is something greater that he’s after, and social media is a tool for that adventure.. and I think that’s great. 

Cloud City 

As a final note.. A little while ago Richard did a post on publishing in the clouds. This is one of a series of themes he revisits fairly regularly which.. I guess you could say are kind of wrestling with a number of things related to technologies evolution as it relates to social media.

Anyway, in this post he calls me out on my crazy comments.. and I thought offered interesting insight into my madness.. and clued me into where one can read my comment streams… or some of them anyway.

His post left me blushing a good deal.. and of course I wonder how could anyone possibly ever mistake me for a functional human being? I mean that’s just crazy talk! Don’t cha know!?! Meant to thank him for the generosity of it… 

The publishing in the cloud post I think also sorta centers on the issue of.. the future of this space.. I’d go off for eons on this.. but… well.. if I do I may never post this and.. it’s been far too long since I posted.. so lets post, shall we?!

It’s about 7 in the morning.. I haven’t slept yet.. and yeah.. still feeling sick. I can’t find the nyquil, which would help me sleep… Hours earlier I went to a bar, the Chicken Bone.. and perhaps smoked too much.. the drinking seemed fine.. err.. I lost my keys on the way out to the bar.. and must have spent about an hour looking for them.. this task onto its self would have seemed to have whipped me out.. but chilling at the Bone didn’t seem to effect me that way.. if it had I would have called it an early night. Anyway, it was just good to get out.

I have a habit of falling asleep to various DVD commentaries… If I’m watching a DVD and get too tired to follow I switch over.. sometimes I won’t even watch a film if it doesn’t have a commentary… if I know I’ll be dozing off or something.. Anyway.. tonight it was Rain Man… which, as it turns out.. has a hell of a lot of commentaries on it… I got through listening to the directors commentary, and now I’m onto the writers….  but in all this I can’t seem to get to sleep.

Mean while I’m full of phlegm… and I’m in the middle of an eczema break out.

12 30 PM

I’m just waking up.. I don’t think this qualifies as quite enough sleep.. and I don’t know how much time there was between turning away from writing this and getting actual sleep.. It is probably best to just lay here and rest.

My head still feels like a mess, I’m definitely tired..

2:12

I’m still up but still in bed….  I could use some tissues, but don’t know where such things might be lurking.

So at best I might have had 5 hours sleep last night… but in all likely hood it was probably an hour or two less.. When I’m feeling healthy I need a good 8 hours…

I’ve been reading.. BorderSac, and participating in the comments.. It’s written by Alex Lindsay.. who’s pretty well known for the pixelcorps.. The this week in media podcast, this week in photography.. on that various TWIT podcasts with Leo Laporte.

It’s hard for me to generally think of these guys as truly social media.. I suppose it’s that these guys are in the kinda stratus sphere were social media currently doesn’t scale well.. so they seem a lot more of the one to many then the many to many sorta thing.. and generally I don’t find things going on where they have open comments… so this is sorta fun.

Alex is very smart about 3D graphics and special effects.. a film maker friend of mine told me a story of moderating a panel that Alex was on..  and how hard it was to shut Alex up.. to give other panelists a word in edge wise…

Politically Alex seems interesting… I don’t know that you could really call him a conservative… he surely is independent minded.. but he often seems to have a little libertarian flavor to him.. where ever he stands. All this is notable as I am from a land with a conservative shortage.. generally you take a left-ish position and you get a lot of heads nodding.. which isn’t something I’m particularly against.. only that I fear that the foundations of that head nod might not involve too much critical thought.. more a herd instinct sorta thing..

Ok, its almost 3 PM and I feel that I have a choice to make.. Choice 1, get out of bed.. even if you feel like you’ve had enough rest.. and go about some modicum of a daily routine.. most notably setting about getting something to eat.. and from there onto addressing the issues of the day. Choice 2.. stop playing with the computer, roll over, and try and get some more rest.

A few latter:

While I’m leading towards choice 2, I am still at the computer, aren’t I? Well I need to publish this bad boy sometime.

I had this thought.. or series of thoughts.. and I thought I should try and edge my way through them.

One of the things I’m wrestling with is blogging.. how should I blog, what sorta tone should I take.. just a lot of content related sorta questions. I often find myself thinking two things.. even if I don’t always go with them.

1. You should create content that serves a community.
2. What if you were an artist and your community were folks that were into your art.. only trouble is that none of those folks exist yet?

Err…  So the serve the community shtick… to some extent I think I do that when I write about.. I don’t know.. any number of things.. but I don’t know that I totally 100% think of it in terms of the value it would give that community. I don’t think in terms of “lets go write a magazine article esk thing.”

There’s a big part of me that feels like.. well lets just have a conversation.. like perhaps I should just jabber on.. and on and on and on.. about God knows what.. just jabber.. and perhaps try and turn the jabbering into an art form.

I’m reminded of an experience I have in tweet ups.. or really any kind of social situation.. that’s like.. involving meeting new people or whatever. There’s this sorta surface film.. which is like the bullshit everyone is saying. If the social situation was a meet market and you were trying to hit on women.. it would probably amount to saying something like “you’re hot.”

WTF is the value of saying “you’re hot?” Well sure, it is not totally vacuous..  but if that’s the sum total of whatever.. well how’s that working for you? No.. what you need to do is find someway of expressing something.. what that something is is.. dependent on any number of things. What’s the message you want to send?

If you are feeling a certain amount of anxiety.. you might be reacting to that anxiety in your messaging.. You could start behaving like an idiot.. I mean if you feel uncool you might go out of your way to try and act cool.. which often doesn’t really work out.. in part cause no one really thought you were that uncool in the first place.. so your just overcompensating which is saying “this fellow is feeling awkward.” Which.. is perhaps not terrible into its self, but..

Well back to the meat market analogy.. My thinking would probably be something along the lines of.. ok.. I’m sorta like a particular brand of meat.. I ether appeal to you or I don’t.. in any event… the values of my kinda meat.. that’s something to perhaps express.. another words.. what is great about me.. that if you’re someone to appreciate this sorta thing.. you’ll totally go for. Out side of that its like “above all else we are here to have a good time, hopefully I can help you have a good time in the process.”

This latter idea speaks to this crazy set of theories I have on psycho social dynamics… which is to say in any group situation there are certain core things that have brought us together.. to the extent to which you can provide value on those core things.. well.. you rise in the pecking order. So… one presumes that women in a meat market want to have fun.. Taking an attitude of “all I want to do is score tonight” might be enough to make you miss out on having fun.. Not to mention that meeting someone worth talking to might not be bad ether…

1:36 AM

Never actually got to sleep.. but eventually found the nyquil.. a short while ago.. its starting to kick in.  I’ve spent about 90% of the day in bed.. with a short excursion made to pick up a subway sand witch.. which.. is perhaps better then my usual diet.

I couldn’t tell you what my meet market rant was all about.. accept that it would lead into some early ideas I had about the nature of social media.. which.. is perhaps an odd topic.. as social media land has seemed to have changed so much in the last few months..

Perhaps I should say something about that? Well I would accept.. well idk.. I guess what I’m really thinking is.. that I want to go more crazy as far as blogging / content development style is concerned.. perhaps following these old ideas about social media.. forgetting about “what the kids are saying these days” and sorta try to cut my own crazed path through the space.

This idea, I think, strangely leads into the subject of theme design for wordpress.. wordpress as that’s the blog engine I’m using these days..  But this is a rather long conversation about the wordpress platform, content management systems, and web design and development.. and frankly the nyquil’s kicking in to hard to really follow that thought thread.. so that will have to wait till my next post.

1:09 PM

Time to post this bad boy

I wonder what I should post about today?

I just woke up from the unconscious slip I mentioned only recently..I had this thought that was like “wtf, it’s my blog, I can do whatever with it” just recently.. Was this the voice an anti-social media anarchy? Is there perhaps  something new brewing in my unconscious.. taking form, ready to spring on this virtual page? Is this a tactic in search of breaking through to something new? I feel like Robin asking a campy Batman these questions…

In any event.. I must flee this scene.. venture to the bathroom, the library, and guitar center. But I’ll leave you with this:

I have sooooo much crap I haven’t posted… drafts.. I’ve been writing so much, working on so much.. but none of it is seeming right to me.. It’s all seeming terrible to me.. and that’s why I’ve been putting out content so infrequently.. 

It’s all a part of my dark mood.. and it’s hard to know what’s up.. if its that my dark mood infects whatever content I try and produce.. transfiguring it to crap.. or if it’s that my dark mood blocks me from seeing the stuff I produce in a decent light. I have no idea..

Whatever the story is.. I’m not in a mood of being super high on myself.. perhaps latter I’ll be super high on myself in order to compensate for the mood I’ve been in most recently.. I guess we’ll see.

In any event.. allow me to tell you what’s in the pipeline, or being thought about being put in the pipeline.. it maybe that none of this stuff will ever come out.. I may decide that every draft is crap.. every whatever.. and that’ll simply be that.. but allow me to share.

What’s to come, with any luck.

A series of posts.. meditations really, on Aleister Crowly..  I’ve recently been wrestling with him… It will be deeply philosophical.. and in the process I’ll also be wrestling with the culture wars, certain christian groups.. Nietszsche, the sexual revolution.. lots of Jungian psychology.. and lets just say “that Matt schools of philosophy, psychology, and theology.

Posts on planning you’re studio out.. which.. will be from my point of view as I let you in on what I’m thinking about with my studio.. the research I’ve been doing.. gear I’ve been looking at.. all that sorta swell stuff.. also going fairly deep into music production.

I still have a video blog episode I want to put out.. want to finish the production of..  we’ll see what happens on that.

I’ve been working on some music.. I’ll likely tell you about that.

I may start putting out some podcasts again.. perhaps with the main objective of… well just out of feeling to lazy to write really..

I have of few drafts on the subject of me wrestling with my own darkness.. and stuff where this leads into a holistic look at social media, interconnectedness and mental health..  

I may put out some politics stuff.. may start talking about Obama, the recent election… and a few things I think have been going on that no one seems to have really been picking up on.

There’s a number of films I’ve been seeing lately that I might like the comment on..

I’m still thinking about redesigning this website and blog..

There’s probably more, but I haven’t slept for so long that I really just wanna go collapse, so goodnight 

As I write this I’m.. super sick, in bed.. nice to have the laptop here with me, wish the internet connection was better… feeling slightly out of my mind.. as a result of it…

Any who… I’m thinking about social media engagement.. It’s sorta like a stupid obvious kind of thing…  but.. that if I were to get super serious about it.. this could be a key piece in getting me where I need to go.

What is this “social media” you speak of? 

I assume that most of my readers aren’t social media people.. so it might be worth explaining a little bit about this…

Basically.. social media, as we know it today.. is mostly about online communications.. perhaps focused around twitter, blogging, podcasting.. this sorta thing.. throw in your face books and your myspaces.. youtube’s, and linked in and.. seesmic and.. many other things.  

All of these things are like communications channels.. ok, so why  is communications important?

Err.. it occurs to me that I’ll never finish this post if I keep on  this trajectory…  But communications, as any good marriage counselor will tell you, is an important element in managing relationships..  put it that way. Business, as it turns out, is all about relationships.. relationship with you peers, relationships with your customers, employers, clients, coworkers.. etc.

So engagement in social media is all about these relationships.. and so obviously enough.. it’s powerful along multiple trajectories..

Basically.. for me.. at this moment.. the idea that I should engage more.. means commenting on people’s blogs, and spending time on twitter. It’s about engaging in the conversations people are having.. and hopefully adding to those conversations.

Tales of a miscellaneous niche 

Now.. off in the land of social media.. and this might not be a totally fair statement.. I think people tend to get focused on there niche’s. You start a blog on subject X, and you engage with other bloggers who are into subject X. I mean this is the way its done.. But what I think is key for who I am, and where I come from.. is to engage along multiple vectors.

I am a “follow you’re passions fundamentalist.” I believe.. we all, to one extent or another, have various interests.. I believe in pursuing all these interests..  That the path to you’re true potential lys in the development of a “whole self,” that the goal ought to be to develop all these interests to a relatively mature and sophisticated form.. in proportion to your level of interest.

Also, I believe that innovation is a synthesis of formally disparate fields of knowledge.. another words..  the more your knowledge and skills are diversified.. the more capable you are of innovation…

This is not entirely an “anti specialization” idea.. The idea is that what is you’re area of specialization is something that you define by you’re passions..  That it is a synthesis of what would traditionally be considered disparate fields.. 

For me.. much of the blog o sphere.. and the world of podcasts.. its a way to explore my interests.. learn from people who are really smart in the various areas I’m interested in…  So I think it makes sense for me to engage along the lines of those interests…  

Matt’s Interests 

Just for the record, what is Matt Interested in?

1. Philosophy
2. Psychology
3. Politics
4. Diplomacy
5. Business Management
6. Marketing
7. Public Relations
8. Technology
9. Music Composition
10. Music Performance
11. Music Production
12. Sound Synthesis
13. Music
14. Film
15. Film making
16. Animation
17. 3D graphics
18. Special Effects
19. Directing
20. Performance Art
21. Painting
22. Graphic Design
23. Web Design
24. Web Strategy
25. Social Media Strategy
26. Photography
27. History
28. The Arts
29. Human Sexuality
30. Social Sciences
31. Poetry
32. Religion
33. Theology
34. Cultural Studies
35. Mythology
36. The Military
37. Computer Graphics
38. Human Potentiality
39. Entrepreneurship 

Well you get the idea, right? I mean the list goes on from there.. 

Miscellaneous Niche Strategery

So, roughly speaking, I describe my self as a “Media Artist:” I work with different medias.. different mediums.. from sound to video to animation to painting to whatever, right?  At the moment I seem most focused on the sound part of that.. lets go make an album… etc. But clearly I see myself in broa —

A couple days latter:

Still feeling super sick, feeling like i should just post, cause I don’t have the energy to finish up this train of thought.. lol, and I don’t know where that last sentence was going! 

I think this is kind of an ongoing theme for this blog anyway.. so..  yeah.. ok, posting..

So I got this kind of crazy comment on a post..  from John…  which I think I could safely characterize as “insensitive” in its criticism…. which I don’t totally understand, accept that sometimes when one interacts with folks online one can forget one is interacting with real humans. In any event.. I don’t think John’s criticism was exactly constructive.. none the less I find myself searching for grains of truth in it.. which is an instinct I find a little dubious….  but it is what it is.

So I thought I’d sorta address his comment in a blog post.. well sorta.

If you have discerning eyes, and you look at this blog, you’d probably come away with an impression that “this cat has no desire to be a social media rock star.” Or to put it another way.. ( picture spoken in a somewhat Frank Zappa esk tone ) “This blog has got no kinda game at all.” 

I’m not really sure why that is, to tell you the honest truth.  I feel as if it’s just sorta indicative of the state my life is in.. which is.. difficult. Somehow, one way or another, I need to ether work this out or just accept it. Maybe.. instead of all my obsessions and whatever.. I should just focus on healing.

The difficult feeling of an artist.

When you go to art school.. coming in the door you realize you’re kind of screwed.. well unless you’re a designer or something. The plight of the fine artist.. is a difficult one.. and often we toil our lives away for little to no material reward.. In fact, just getting your life in such a situation that you can seriously focus on your work.. That’s a pretty substantial accomplishment on its own.

I think its a kind of addiction actually.. an addiction to the state of ecstasy that art making can bring you to… That feeling that you and the Gods are one. For me, I suppose, I really make art more for God then living souls… Or more for that internal spiritual nourishment. I mean it’s just the one place in my life where I feel truly alive. So if there’s anyway that I can make my way through this life, via this art, then I will call my life a success. That’s really all I’m looking for, you know?

I imagine to be a whole human, however, one needs a bit more. How about starting a family? The only way I could ever see that working out is if I found one hell of a women.. cause God knows I can barely take care of my Dad!

I don’t really feel like I have a choice in what I is.  

So the deal is.. if you make art the way I do.. where you’re serious about exploring your own unique creative vision, regardless of what’s up with the market place.. well..  I don’t know.. What can you realistically expect?

I guess I’ll leave this at this — I’m kinda tired.