I am sick.. have been sick for a bit now.. 7, 8 days? Sick in bed?

There’s a strange surreal dream world.. that happens as waking life withers.. away to very little… See the unconscious, who speaks in dreams… is to balance the attitudes of consciousness… and when there is so little consciousness.. what is it to balance? Unless being sick its self is an effort to balance.

Everything feels just a little bit bent.. that odd taste in your mouth..

Outside life slips away.. you say “well I’m sick, what can I do about it?” But these words feel like neurosis…  In your heart you feel like you need to fight.. to fight your way into the light.

And what are the inputs.. laying hear in this bed in the basement.. surrounded by a mess.. this laptop playing movies.. we’ve gone through Lord Of The Rings, Basic Instinct, Bourn Identities… many commentaries..  online documentaries of Carl Jung.. a few pages of his seminars on Thus Spoke Zarathustra.. swings at working on the DMI class homework.. that should have been emailed days ago. There’s a couple recent, and one current, sound on sound magazines just to the side..

In sickened states I have made my way to grocery stores to try and stock up on OJ, NyQuil, fruit… something or another to eat.. and still.. even now, fast food takes up too much of my diet..

Where my life is now.. it’s not a good place.. and the sickness keeps me from being able to do much to improve it.

As I write these words I feel tired… should I just layback down, roll back over, and reenter the dreams?

I’ve had some odd dreams lately.. I can’t remember most of the sick ones.. but before the sickness got me.. I met my son.. whom I had had with some women I had never physically met but only talked to online.. and how happy I was to meet him.. and to take up the fatherly roll.. in the dream he was my son, no question about it… but you and I, us waking life people.. we know that for children to be made, it helps to have a conception..

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 26th, 2009 at 3:03 pm and is filed under dreams, life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.