Journals of delirium: More chronicles of a sick man
It’s about 7 in the morning.. I haven’t slept yet.. and yeah.. still feeling sick. I can’t find the nyquil, which would help me sleep… Hours earlier I went to a bar, the Chicken Bone.. and perhaps smoked too much.. the drinking seemed fine.. err.. I lost my keys on the way out to the bar.. and must have spent about an hour looking for them.. this task onto its self would have seemed to have whipped me out.. but chilling at the Bone didn’t seem to effect me that way.. if it had I would have called it an early night. Anyway, it was just good to get out.
I have a habit of falling asleep to various DVD commentaries… If I’m watching a DVD and get too tired to follow I switch over.. sometimes I won’t even watch a film if it doesn’t have a commentary… if I know I’ll be dozing off or something.. Anyway.. tonight it was Rain Man… which, as it turns out.. has a hell of a lot of commentaries on it… I got through listening to the directors commentary, and now I’m onto the writers…. but in all this I can’t seem to get to sleep.
Mean while I’m full of phlegm… and I’m in the middle of an eczema break out.
12 30 PM
I’m just waking up.. I don’t think this qualifies as quite enough sleep.. and I don’t know how much time there was between turning away from writing this and getting actual sleep.. It is probably best to just lay here and rest.
My head still feels like a mess, I’m definitely tired..
2:12
I’m still up but still in bed…. I could use some tissues, but don’t know where such things might be lurking.
So at best I might have had 5 hours sleep last night… but in all likely hood it was probably an hour or two less.. When I’m feeling healthy I need a good 8 hours…
I’ve been reading.. BorderSac, and participating in the comments.. It’s written by Alex Lindsay.. who’s pretty well known for the pixelcorps.. The this week in media podcast, this week in photography.. on that various TWIT podcasts with Leo Laporte.
It’s hard for me to generally think of these guys as truly social media.. I suppose it’s that these guys are in the kinda stratus sphere were social media currently doesn’t scale well.. so they seem a lot more of the one to many then the many to many sorta thing.. and generally I don’t find things going on where they have open comments… so this is sorta fun.
Alex is very smart about 3D graphics and special effects.. a film maker friend of mine told me a story of moderating a panel that Alex was on.. and how hard it was to shut Alex up.. to give other panelists a word in edge wise…
Politically Alex seems interesting… I don’t know that you could really call him a conservative… he surely is independent minded.. but he often seems to have a little libertarian flavor to him.. where ever he stands. All this is notable as I am from a land with a conservative shortage.. generally you take a left-ish position and you get a lot of heads nodding.. which isn’t something I’m particularly against.. only that I fear that the foundations of that head nod might not involve too much critical thought.. more a herd instinct sorta thing..
Ok, its almost 3 PM and I feel that I have a choice to make.. Choice 1, get out of bed.. even if you feel like you’ve had enough rest.. and go about some modicum of a daily routine.. most notably setting about getting something to eat.. and from there onto addressing the issues of the day. Choice 2.. stop playing with the computer, roll over, and try and get some more rest.
A few latter:
While I’m leading towards choice 2, I am still at the computer, aren’t I? Well I need to publish this bad boy sometime.
I had this thought.. or series of thoughts.. and I thought I should try and edge my way through them.
One of the things I’m wrestling with is blogging.. how should I blog, what sorta tone should I take.. just a lot of content related sorta questions. I often find myself thinking two things.. even if I don’t always go with them.
- You should create content that serves a community.
- What if you were an artist and your community were folks that were into your art.. only trouble is that none of those folks exist yet?
Err… So the serve the community shtick… to some extent I think I do that when I write about.. I don’t know.. any number of things.. but I don’t know that I totally 100% think of it in terms of the value it would give that community. I don’t think in terms of “lets go write a magazine article esk thing.”
There’s a big part of me that feels like.. well lets just have a conversation.. like perhaps I should just jabber on.. and on and on and on.. about God knows what.. just jabber.. and perhaps try and turn the jabbering into an art form.
I’m reminded of an experience I have in tweet ups.. or really any kind of social situation.. that’s like.. involving meeting new people or whatever. There’s this sorta surface film.. which is like the bullshit everyone is saying. If the social situation was a meet market and you were trying to hit on women.. it would probably amount to saying something like “you’re hot.”
WTF is the value of saying “you’re hot?” Well sure, it is not totally vacuous.. but if that’s the sum total of whatever.. well how’s that working for you? No.. what you need to do is find someway of expressing something.. what that something is is.. dependent on any number of things. What’s the message you want to send?
If you are feeling a certain amount of anxiety.. you might be reacting to that anxiety in your messaging.. You could start behaving like an idiot.. I mean if you feel uncool you might go out of your way to try and act cool.. which often doesn’t really work out.. in part cause no one really thought you were that uncool in the first place.. so your just overcompensating which is saying “this fellow is feeling awkward.” Which.. is perhaps not terrible into its self, but..
Well back to the meat market analogy.. My thinking would probably be something along the lines of.. ok.. I’m sorta like a particular brand of meat.. I ether appeal to you or I don’t.. in any event… the values of my kinda meat.. that’s something to perhaps express.. another words.. what is great about me.. that if you’re someone to appreciate this sorta thing.. you’ll totally go for. Out side of that its like “above all else we are here to have a good time, hopefully I can help you have a good time in the process.”
This latter idea speaks to this crazy set of theories I have on psycho social dynamics… which is to say in any group situation there are certain core things that have brought us together.. to the extent to which you can provide value on those core things.. well.. you rise in the pecking order. So… one presumes that women in a meat market want to have fun.. Taking an attitude of “all I want to do is score tonight” might be enough to make you miss out on having fun.. Not to mention that meeting someone worth talking to might not be bad ether…
1:36 AM
Never actually got to sleep.. but eventually found the nyquil.. a short while ago.. its starting to kick in. I’ve spent about 90% of the day in bed.. with a short excursion made to pick up a subway sand witch.. which.. is perhaps better then my usual diet.
I couldn’t tell you what my meet market rant was all about.. accept that it would lead into some early ideas I had about the nature of social media.. which.. is perhaps an odd topic.. as social media land has seemed to have changed so much in the last few months..
Perhaps I should say something about that? Well I would accept.. well idk.. I guess what I’m really thinking is.. that I want to go more crazy as far as blogging / content development style is concerned.. perhaps following these old ideas about social media.. forgetting about “what the kids are saying these days” and sorta try to cut my own crazed path through the space.
This idea, I think, strangely leads into the subject of theme design for wordpress.. wordpress as that’s the blog engine I’m using these days.. But this is a rather long conversation about the wordpress platform, content management systems, and web design and development.. and frankly the nyquil’s kicking in to hard to really follow that thought thread.. so that will have to wait till my next post.
1:09 PM
Time to post this bad boy