I figure I gotta post something.. I have a draft almost ready to go.. but It’s another one of those music gear things.. and my feeling is… I don’t want to have so many of those in a row.. and given that it’s a late hour, I’m not really sure what subject I can properly deal with.. in the amount of time I’ll have to give this, so….

Well, how about a little news in what’s up with me these days?

There’s a lot of tension beneath the surface.. but for the moment I’m putting that aside.. while I try and focus on some other things.. hopefully this won’t spell disaster.. how cryptic is that?

I want to do some more posts on the anxiety subject.. I’ve been thinking pretty deeply about this.. think I have some interesting things to say.. including some interesting things I would have liked to have put at the end of a recent entry.

I’m working on new podcasts episodes.. so expect that soon.

A couple latter:

I’m having this very difficult to fight urge to say something really smart. You ever get those? It’s like a knock it out of the park thing.

I want to.. .hmmm

Ok, some thoughts that have been germinating…

I’ve been thinking about making my blog a kind of work of art… a work of art in the sense that.. Ok, dig this.. usually I’m like “Mr. Smarty Pants,” right? Like.. if you’re a “real” expert in something I’m talking about.. you know how naked the emperor really is.. but barring that.. I’m just a real great con, ha? Ok, maybe that’s over stating it but.. .  well but that’s besides the point.. 

What I’m thinking of is like.. making my writing a kind of art.. which means.. What if my words transmuted into a painting? I mean.. Here we are wondering around these like.. hyper intellectual.. rational.. kinda deep.. thought path.. but what if that path suddenly vaporized.. and the going was like.. juxtapositions of paintings.. that the path had something to do with a poetic juxtaposition of…. well whatever it was?

There’s certain reasons this appeals to me.. For one.. In intellectual mode.. I’m often motivated by this need to express something.. to communicate a vision.. but I often have to go so far to get you there… has to be this long winding path.. … and even then.. the words are at best pointers to something.. and its very easy to get lost in the words, as a pose to the thing.

Another issue is that the intellectual shtick..  On some level I feel unaware of the implications of it.. but I think there might be this… If I’m hyper intellectual… you might look at me in a way that’s.. . well “thats not me” you say to your self.. “I can’t do that” and this somehow separates us…. it can get in the way of a sense of a shared humanity.. a sense that we share a commonality.. .  

A few latter:

I have this gear I go into.. It feels like some kind of hyper warp mode.. like some kind of mind meld with god… It’s as if… well, let me ask you this, where do your thoughts come from? It’s as if you followed the trail.. to the source.. and the closer you got the source, the more kinda powerful the thoughts were… something like that..

Latter:

God, I’m over tired.. I’d like to really go deep into this.. but basically.. every thought / psychological phenomenon.. everything.. comes from this source.. anxiety, as a for instance.. the thing is to learn how to relate to these things so they help, as a pose to hinder, you.. I’ll leave it at that for today.. 

or how about a video to leave on?

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 17th, 2008 at 9:10 am and is filed under Uncategorized, philosophy, psychology, spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.